Love is Not Rude
If you've spent any amount of time around people, you will have run into rude people. Everyone knows how to be rude. We know someone is being rude when we see it. The book of 1 Corinthians 13:5 describes love as being not rude. In the King James Version the translators use the term, "Doth not behave itself unseemly." In either case, the greek source for these translations is a word that borders on the idea of shameful or uneducated behaviour. Have you ever seen the flustered frustration of a parent in a grocery store trying to wrangle a rude and belligerent child at the check out line? The greek word ἀσχημονέω (aschemoneo if you want to try saying it out loud) is a perfect fit for how you would describe that behaviour. Love is not this.
Is it possible for christians to act in such a way that they bring shame to the Eternal Father? Oh absolutely. Remember the parable Jesus gave to Peter when he asked about how often we should forgive? Matthew 18:23 tells this parable:
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt."
Is God asking for too much from us in inviting us to act in a way that is becoming of his child? I'm not negating the fact that he's still working on you, I'm asking how hard is it to just not be rude to people. Rudeness includes unforgiveness as in the parable of Christ. However, it also includes the general attitude we take towards our fellow neighbor. This includes the Jewish neighbor, the Catholic neighbor, the Republican and the Democrat, the satanist and the Atheist, the Trans and the Cis, and the Hard-working and the Homeless. The word of God invites us to make no distinction between persons, but to instead treat every created person with the same dignity and respect.
"Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor." 1 Peter 2:17
Rudeness has no place in this call to action. Let's speak plainly. Rude christians are not christian. Speaking rudely to someone in sabbath school or in a board meeting is evidence of an unconverted corner of the heart at best and at worse the evidence of a life completely devoid of the holy spirit. All of our speech should be tasteful and tactful (Col 4:6).
I invite you to focus on those you struggle to speak with, and those how are rude to you. Focus on them and pray, "Lord, how can I show a respectful and endearing attitude toward this person? What kindness can i do to the person trying to force an agenda I disagree with onto my church or my kids?" Will God not answer such a prayer? I believe he will because he wills that each of us find our path toward greater and more complete love.
Love is not rude.
-pastor eli