Love Does Not Resent
The Bible has a lot to say about how we interact with the people around us. It states that we should treat others with dignity and respect--especially those that we find ourselves in conflict with. Romans 12:17-18 teaches that the Christian Believer will value honoring others above how we feel about others. Paul also includes that this practice requires thought. Our most difficult discipline is often this other-centric way of living honorably. That's to say, we honor and respect others as the means by which we honor ourselves.
Let's break that down a bit.
What is Resentment?
Resentment as translated into english, analogues a greek word 'logizomai.' This word, while not as exciting as some of the other words in the love chapter, is important in it's larger context. On it's own, the word logizomai is a neutral word carrying the idea of counting or keeping record of things said or spoken. this is the word, translated by our english bibles as resentment. So when 1 Corinthians 13 teaches that love is not resentful, it means that love does not keep score. Love does not make a record of all things said. Here is another instance where Paul uses the same word in a different but related context. 2 Corinthians 5:19 says, "...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation." The words "not counting" are translated from the same single word used in 1 Corinthians 13: 'logizomai.'
Several Bible commentators note that the verb logizomai means "to ponder, to give proper weight and value to, and to allow the resultant appraisal to influence the way life is to be lived. (from J. Alec Motyer). Others note that this specific word is a bookkeeping or accounting term that involves record keeping for the purpose of reviewing later. Love is not this.
I think there is so much beauty and patience here. The bible teaches that love is not a record keeper of all the negative things people have said to us. Love does not file away hurtful words for later review and reckoning. How sad to know that so many people, christians especially, are slow to forget the wrongs done and thoughtless comments made against them. Meanwhile the offenders go on with their lives, unaware of the offended person.
The old saying is true, resentment really is like taking poison hoping the other person suffers.
There's another precious truth here. God's love for you and me is not resentful. When God forgives our confessed sins, he does not hold them over us later on when we mess up. God is not waiting for an opportunity to bring those things to memory and hold them against us. But there is one who is not love and he is eager to remind us. You can be sure that if you suffer from intrusive thoughts of sins you have confessed int he name of Jesus, the one forcing those into your memory is the enemy of God.
Love does not resent.